Family Matters
by its-britney-bxtch
Summary: Ma Beagle thinks that her boys need a feminine touch if they ever want to be successful criminals, so she invited their cousins the Beagle Babes to spend a day with the family. But when you put such bad groups together, only bad things can come out of it! Beagle Boys/Beagle Babes. (Smut, Cousin Incest)


First- this fic contains smut. Incest smut (Beagle Boys/Beagle Babes). If you don't like that press the BACK button kthx. This is the more SFW button if you want the original in all it's horrific imagery, you can find it on Ao3!

I included my top favorite ships: Bankjob/Bouncer/Bouffant, Babyface/Boom-Boom, and Bankjob/Bugle.

Note: All characters are consenting adults.

Thanks and enjoy...or NOT! -Brit

* * *

In all appearances, it was an ordinary summer afternoon, the sun shining down on a small rundown cabin at the bottom of a remote green valley. Idyllic as it was, appearances were deceiving- for this cabin was now solely utilized as the hideout for the extensive, criminal Beagle family.

Ma Beagle, her hair up in a bun and with her hands on her hips, looked out the window of her kitchen impatiently. Things were going to have to change around here, that was for sure.

She could hear her boys hooting and hollering in the other room and she grimaced. Love them she did, they were her boys, but they were dumb as rocks and this ineptitude had gone on long enough!

Thinking back to the pathetic botched heist the family had tried to pull off that very morning, Ma Beagle couldn't help but want to strangle the seven boys in the other room. You'd think a drugstore raid would be pretty standard- easy as pie, and things had started off going just dandy! If only for the boys…

The Beagle Brothers were all gathered in there, slumped over the upholstery with their eyes glued to the small television screen.

Bugle twisted the rabbit ears while Bouncer pounded the top of the television.

"Dammit, we're in the last inning!" Big Time whined, smacking his lap impatiently. "What's the use of pilferin' a tv if it can't even broadcast rightly?!"

Burger sat next to his brother, a box of cookies in his hand. "But Big Time, the Duckburg Mallards never won a game in all their seasons, why start now?"

Big Time grumped as Bouncer gave the box another resounding hit, producing nothing but more static. Bugle shook his head solemnly. "Man."

Babyface, sitting on the far end of the couch with his feet up and over the top, pounded onto a pillow. "Well, someone get Megabyte! Doy!"

"That's an idea. Hey, Megabyte!" Bouncer looked up and bellowed, causing his brothers to cringe or cover their ears.

Megabyte stepped out of the nearby bedroom holding a collapsed laptop in one hand and adjusting his glasses in the other. His mouth was a fine, stern line. "Is there a problem here?" Despite the fact he was making one of his rare visits to see his family, he didn't particularly want to engage with any of them.

"You're a nerd, fix the tube," Bankjob commanded, standing behind the couch. "We're missin' our game."

Megabyte stared angrily at the group. "I'm not a nerd. I'm an Ivy League graduate with a doctorate in-"

"Sounds like a nerd to me!" Bankjob said. Baggy started laughing hysterically.

Big Time smirked, watching as Megabyte stomped over to the television.

After a moment or two of mumbling and fiddling, the loud sound of a baseball announcer filled the room-

"AND HE'S DOWN AND OUT-!"

And the picture was back and the boys cheered.

Ma couldn't take it anymore. Countenance dark, she stomped in and snapped the television off. "We need to talk!"

Disappointed groans filled the room and Bouncer looked ready to cry.

"So. This morning. You remember this morning?" Ma's voice was dangerously cold, and her sons could feel the chill hang in the air.

"Hahaha. Yeah, Burger stalled the getaway car so he could grab them burritos," Baggy laughed, not recognizing the thin ice they were on.

"This time was the last time!" Ma snapped, making them jump. "You boys need a little bit of panache. A feminine touch. Something I _alone_ can't give you..."

"Finnamon bunch?" Baggy echoed.

"I don't like where this is goin'." Big Time growled.

"And that's why, your dear cousins the Beagle Babes, are coming to spend a weekend with us!" Ma grinned broadly at her boys.

"What?!" The boys all stared at her in horror.

"Those ugly witches?" Big Time yelled.

"We haven't seen them since we was kids!" Burger shook his hands. "And we'd likes to keep it that way!"

Bankjob nodded in agreement. "Those girls were never nothin' but trouble, Ma."

"And besides," Bugle tried to reason with her, "this house is bursting at the seams as it is, Big Mama. We can't really-"

"Yeah!" Babyface interrupted him, looking up at Ma victoriously. "They got nowhere to sleep!"

"On the contrary, dears. I put aside one of your rooms for the girls. You boys are all going to sleep together." She couldn't hide her smirk. "And thanks for your help clearing it out earlier, Megabyte."

The boys all glared at Megabyte, and he held up his hands defensively. But before they could pounce on him, there came the sound of a motor outside. They all paused, silent…and then there was the knock at the door Ma had long been waiting for. The boys whimpered, knowing the worst was just to come, as she approached and opened the door wide.

"Hi, auntie!"

Three women stood at the door, suitcases at their sides or purses in hand. The one girl in the middle, Boom-Boom, a blonde dressed in a pink dress, leapt forward and hugged Ma Beagle tight. She had enormous bouncing breasts with a perfect hourglass figure…and the boys found themselves creeping forward, eyes widening. These couldn't be the same girls…?

The second cousin, Bouffant, was plump and curvy, with huge red hair and toting two fake designer suitcases. She started talking a mile a minute. "Oh, thanks so much for having us over, Aunt Beagle! You know your place doesn't appear on no GPS? It's the _damndest thing_!"

Babydoll entered in a pastel blue dress and her brown hair in curls. She looked around with surly disdain. "I've seen betta."

"And, and, and," Bouffant continued, "where are tha boys?!"

Ma, a little overwhelmed by her nieces' entrance, simply motioned to where her boys were hiding -quite badly- in the next room, with their mouths open and eyes popping out.

"Oooohhh!" Boom-Boom giggled. "Look how cute, they're _shy!"_

This broke the boys from their spell.

"Hello, ladies," Megabyte greeted with a smile, raising his eyebrows. He began to type wildly into his computer.

"Well, do I need to make introductions?" Ma asked as the two groups stared at each other. "Boys, you remember Bouffant, Boom-Boom, and Babydoll. Girls, this is Megabyte, Bankjob, Bouncer, Bugle, Burger, Baggy, Babyface, and Big-"

"Aw, Ma, this is just a damn waste of time," Big Time grunted, arms crossed and taking in the scene before him.

"Can it, Big Time," barked Ma. "Now why don't you boys help the girls with their baggage?"

"Oh, lemme help you out!" Bouncer and Baggy had been waiting for this moment. The former licked his palm to slick back the hair on his head, and strutted forward, shoving Baggy out of his way.

Babydoll rolled her eyes and swung her purse out of his reach. "Paws off!"

Baggy sniggered and Bouncer cast a glare at him.

Bouffant, however, seemed to be loving the attention. "Ah, my aching feet! Bankjob, would you be a dear….?" She smiled with sickeningly sweet insincerity. Bankjob, usually one of the more levelheaded of his brothers, looked lovestruck and appeared at her side, taking one hefty suitcase in each hand. Bouffant grinned and dreamily watched him flex his muscles.

Boom-Boom flounced into the main room with a pink purse draped over her shoulder, hands on her perfect round hips. She looked towards the corner and spotted the youngest beagle, Babyface, fiddling nervously in the corner next to Bugle, who was grinding his teeth as he watched Bankjob flaunt in front of Bouffant.

"Ah, auntie, you didn't tell me you was raising a kid!" She smiled, holding her hands together. "I just love children!"

"What! H-hey! I'm not a kid!" Babyface cried, clenching his fists in a pathetic demonstration of disapproval.

"Aw, of course you're not," Boom-Boom cooed patronizingly, picking him up with ease and hugging him tight against her hefty breasts. The younger beagle blushed furiously and scrambled his way back down, flustered. Bugle patted his little brother comfortingly.

Babydoll was muttering softly to herself as she dragged her heavily decorated ribbon purse along the floor. Suddenly she knocked into something behind her and spun around. Burger stood behind her, chewing his cheese sandwich and his eyes popping out of his head.

"Hi." A piece of sandwich fell out of his mouth.

Babydoll grimaced. "Oh, ugh! It just keeps getting worse!"

The boys all giggled like schoolgirls.

Big Time stood in the corner, tapping his feet and watching his brothers go gaga, tripping over these girls. "This is frickin' nauseatin'."

"Girls, I'll show you to your room," said Ma Beagle, leading the way into the hallway. "I had to clear out the crap in the boys' room to make space for you, but I think you'll find it adequate."

"Well, before anything, I think we'd all like a few minutes to unwind," Bouffant said, watching Bankjob drop her suitcases in front of the guest room door. "The drive from the inner city is a _hell_ of a pain on the back."

"Sure, sure. Anything you want." Ma nodded. "I'll be fixing dinner, so by the time you finish we can all eat and have a little powwow." She then headed back to the kitchen, giving her boys a dirty look as she did so.

Boom-Boom clapped her hands. "Ooh, great! I nabbed some _adorable_ little pillows at the store! I can't wait to try 'em out."

The girls vanished down the hall and into the bedroom, and then there was the sound of a door being slammed shut and the girls' voices dissipated.

In the next moments, Big Time's brothers vanished from the living room and down the hall one by one, sharing delighted glances…until it was just him and Megabyte.

Then it was silent.

Megabyte finally spoke up. "You seem tense, Big Time."

"Shut up, Megadork." Big Time growled.

"My, my, somebody's temper is running hot," Megabyte remarked snidely, hardly glancing up from his laptop. He had a disturbing grin on his face and his eyes were darting frantically across the screen.

"But really, it's standard. Being…sheltered, so long, it's typical for the inexperienced and withdrawn to get a little rowdy when first engaging with the fairer sex."

Big Time snorted back a laugh. "Please. Don't tell me _you've_ got experience."

"You'd be surprised," Megabyte, briefly looking up, arched his eyebrow and giving him a wry smile. "Girls think smart is sexy. Something I can't say for any of you…"

"I don't believe this."

Megabyte continued to regard him, his grin was slowly stretching to the edges of his face, making him look even nastier.

Big Time felt a twinge of unease as his brother looked into him, and quickly turned on his feet and walked off.

"Just stay outta my way, Megacreep!" He heard his brother laugh harshly, but he ignored it and headed back to the bedroom to cool his head.

"DINNER'S ON!" Ma Beagle shouted.

Usually coming to dinner was a typical affair, but today the boys stampeded in, fighting for chairs and spots at the table. Apart from Big Time and Megabyte, the whole Beagle Boy brotherhood was present.

"Hey! What'd I say about running inside?!" barked Ma. Her children went silent and fell back. There weren't enough chairs at the table, only eight, so at least a few of her boys would be sitting on the floor tonight.

"Girls, you get first pick of seats," Ma said, waving the girls over as they entered the room. The boys pressed against the wall and watched with bated breath as Babydoll, Bouffant, and Boom-Boom settled into their chairs, each in a sheer pastel colored nightgown that fully complimented their shape. Not far behind them, Big Time walked in, dark as a thunderhead.

"Boys." Ma prompted.

They didn't need telling twice. As fast as they could-without running, Ma forbid- the brothers plopped into the seats as if in a game of musical chairs. Big Time was quick enough to slip right between Babydoll and Bouffant- into his everyday seat, and nobody was taking that away from him, regardless of the situation!

"Oh, come on, Big Time," Bankjob put his hands on the back of his chair. "Be a pal."

Burger was already eating what looked like a stick of butter as he sat his rump on the hardwood, and Bugle sat next to him with a disgruntled look on his face.

"This is where I always sit," Big Time persisted, not looking up at his brother. He felt the grip behind him grow tighter.

"Well, maybes you won't be able to sit when I'm done with you," Bankjob threatened. Big Time felt a little nervous.

"Here we are!" Ma entered the dining room with a bowl of what could only be her famous Ma Glop. Which was exactly what it sounded like. Bankjob backed down and sat down on the floor with a thud, muttering angrily.

"Mmm!" Baggy and the other boys gushed. Their cousins looked at the creation with big eyes as Ma began to heap it onto separate plates.

"Um, tell you what, I'm not all that hungry," Bouffant said, putting her hands on her lap and looking uneasy.

"I brought my own meal from home," Boom-Boom withdrew a protein bar from out of nowhere. "I'm on a special diet."

Ma looked at Babydoll.

"No thanks."

Ma narrowed her eyes, but then shrugged and walked off back to the kitchen. The boys dove into their meals without a complaint.

"You smell nice," Baggy said from Boom-Boom's left side, placing his chin in his hands and watching her.

"Well, I think she _looks_ nice!" Babyface retorted from the other side.

Something kicked Big Time hard in the ankle.

He looked across the table to see Bouncer looking directly at Bouffant with a dreamy look in his eye. Oh, GROSS! Then Big Time felt Bouffant's foot caress him and his appetite drained away- probably permanently.

From his spot on the floor where he could see everything, Bankjob glowered at the couple.

Ma came back into the room, looking annoyed. "Where's Megabyte?"

The boys looked around, then gave a halfhearted shrug. Ma turned to Big Time. "Go get your brother. You know how he gets into those competitive online games and will starve himself for days."

"Aw, Ma-" He was cut off by another angry grunt from his mother, and exasperatedly, he shoved off from the table and excused himself. Not a second he was up and out, and Bankjob had claimed his spot, struggling to fit his bulky frame into the tight space.

"Where are you, nerd?" Big Time called loudly as he paced the hall.

Suddenly, Megabyte stepped out of the girls' room, closing it behind him, and laptop tucked under his arm.

"What were you doin' in there?" Big Time asked suspiciously.

"Oh, just making sure all was set and secure," the skinny beagle chuckled, beady eyes gleaming.

"Yeah, well your food's getting' cold," Big Time said. "And that stuff don't go down well to begin with."

Big Time followed Megabyte back to the dinner table, casually wondering just what his brother had been doing in that room. Ah well, did it really matter…?

With both seat and appetite gone, he folded his arms and leaned against the doorframe, listening in on the conversation going on.

"So that's the time I almost ran McDuck out of business! My boys were such a hit!" Ma Beagle was rambling on. "And then, of course, the fame got to their heads…"

"I remember your band!" gushed Bouffant, batting her lashes at Bouncer. "Oooh, could you play something now?"

"Well, I-" Bouncer started, blushing a little.

"I was in that band too!" Burger interrupted, mouth full and banging on the table. "If you wanna, I can sing-!"

Ma pinched Burger's ear and he yipped.

"You boys are so impressive," Babydoll said sarcastically. "How many times has it been? Hitting Scrooge's money bin?"

"568 times!" Baggy was eager to be the first to answer her.

"Yeah, well I don't see _you_ doin' any better!" Big Time butted in from the side of the room. "Can't even pull off a simple kidnapping!"

Babydoll bit her lip angrily and ground her teeth. "That was different." The two leered at each other for a moment.

"Ooh! We almost got away with Scrooge's _entire_ fortune!" Babyface broke the tension as he raised his hand excitedly.

"Yeah…'til the pirates showed up," sighed Bugle, rubbing his temples and hating the hostile vibes.

"HOW is it different?!" Big Time wasn't about to let this go. "You let a kid step all over you!"

"Boom, help me out here," Babydoll looked to her sister for some sort of help.

"Do you like playing pirates?" Boom-Boom asked Babyface playfully, oblivious to her sister's situation.

He turned beet red again and glared down at the table.

Babydoll made a frantic glance at Bouffant, but she too seemed to be more interested in chatting up the boys. "So, what do you do for fun around here?" She kept looking between Bankjob and Bouncer flirtatiously, as if trying to size up which of the two would win in a fight- specifically, for her…

"UGH!" Babydoll stood up and crashed her palms onto the table, startling everyone present. She gave Big Time one last death glare and then stalked out of the room, and out into the hallway. Her two sisters, finally noticing her displeasure, looked at each other nervously.

"Excuse us," Bouffant said, pushing away from the table. Boom-Boom had already pushed in her chair and was hurrying after her younger sister.

The room was silent for a moment, and then all the boys glared at Big Time.

"W-what?" He could feel sweat beginning to form on the back of his neck. What had he done wrong? "All I said was- OWWWW!"

Ma was suddenly back and pinching his ear tightly, her eyes blazing. "This is how you treat your cousins?"

"She started it!" Big Time whined. "You heard her-"

"Everything I heard was cold hard fact!" Ma snapped, releasing him. "Aside from Megabyte, you boys have accomplished hardly anything to be proud of!"

Megabyte, who had been silent this whole time from his spot at the counter, grinned broadly.

"B-but Ma-" Bankjob started.

"I don't want to hear any of it," She shook her head, looking exhausted. "Look, spend some time with the girls. They might be able to teach you a thing or two."

The boys slunk to their bedroom feeling angry, hurt, and confused. Getting on Ma's bad side was never something they'd choose to do, but somehow they'd all gone and done it.

"Hey, don't splash me!"

"Hahaha!"

They all stopped short. They heard the voices of the girls chattering in the bathroom, and it was a sweet temptation. All of the boys piled up against the door, straining to hear. They couldn't hear much…but just enough!

Burger was drooling, trying in vain to see through the wood. "Oh boy. They're like…three triple-cheeseboigas with pickles and caramel onions!"

"Ah…aha…is this wrong?" Baggy asked with a goofy, stupefied grin as he envisioned the naked girls inside.

"Who cares?" slathered Bouncer.

"Yeah, something that feels so wrong just has to be right, man," Bugle snapped his fingers for emphasis. But his mind was elsewhere.

Babyface was against the door, wriggling with excitement. "I think they're talking about us!"

"Not you, shrimp, they're talking about a real man," Bouncer laughed, ribbing the little beagle.

"Oh, so you mean like _me_?" Bankjob turned to look at his brother and the two leered at each other for a moment.

"What are you numbnuts doing?!" Big Time finally caught up to them after uselessly arguing with Ma. His brothers leapt a foot in the air and looked at him with nervous smiles.

"W-well…." stuttered Baggy... They gulped.

The girls, meanwhile, were sitting around the musty bathroom, taking turns in the shower and gossiping amongst each other. Babydoll and Bouffant had by now already finished their showers and were now dressed in their nightgowns, rubbing oils on their skin and brushing their hair. Boom-Boom sat comfortably in a tub of hot, pink sudsy water, looking content.

"Ugh, this place is such a dump. Mold on the tile and cracks all over the mirror." Babydoll griped, tugging on her curly hair roughly with a baby blue hairbrush.

Bouffant took out a tube of shimmery lipstick and drew a crude red heart on the mirror, laughing to herself. "Yeah, well. The boys ain't so bad though," she purred. "Some of 'em are even…"

"Don't say it!" Babydoll practically shrieked. Her sister laughed.

"Really? You don't think any of them are cute?" Boom-Boom asked, rubbing her sweet smelling shower gel over her ample chest.

Babydoll shook her head with annoyance. "Unlike you two, I have standards."

Boom-Boom giggled. "Well, I think I really like-"

Suddenly there was a muffled sound at the door. The girls froze.

Babydoll made eye contact with Bouffant and then silently slipped toward the door, holding her brush in her hand. BAM! She flung the door open.

"Big Time! Get outta here, pervert!" She yelled. The small Beagle Boy looked bewildered and looked around him as if confused.

"ME?!"

Babydoll flung her brush and narrowly missed hitting him in the head. She took a chunk out of the plaster behind him. "Don't think I won't tell your mother about you peeping on us!"

"Oh, you wish, ya banshee! I was trying to stop-!" The door slammed in his face.

Burning with humiliation and anger, Big Time leered back towards the bedroom where his other brothers had dashed to just in time. "I hate all you dirty mutts."

Their bedroom was dark, dusty, and much too small to accommodate all of them. There were only two twin sized beds, a small moldy sofa, and a slew of cheap looking sleeping bags scattered all over the floor.

"Thanks a lot, Big Time," Bouncer growled as they filed inside.

Big Time exploded. "Me?! WHO was the ones snoopin' out there?! And I'm just defendin' our honor here! You guys are the ones actin' like you've got some screws loose!" He kicked the sleeping bags out of his way as he tramped around in a tight circle, fuming at the injustice of it all. Was everyone against him?

"In fact, me and Megabyte's the only ones with our heads still on right!" Big Time fussed.

Megabyte grinned from the edge of the bed where he sat. "Oh, it's sweet that you think so much of me, Big Time."

Big Time turned around to see his brother fiddling with his computer…and then saw what looked to be a visual feed of some very familiar backsides in lingerie on the monitor…

"You put a camera in the girl's room!?" whispered Big Time shrilly. He could strangle Megabyte right now! But before he could, his other brothers pushed him aside, eyes glued to the monitor as it displayed the three girls on their queen sized bed, fresh out of the bathroom, legs apart, stretching, panties visible…

"Holy…."

"It's so much better than what we imagined," Megabyte remarked as the camera closed in on one of the girl's breasts. They couldn't hear what the girls were saying, but it looked like they were all laughing.

"Oh, geez, do you think they're talking about…doin' it…with eachother?" Bouncer blushed a little at the dirty term.

"Woah, man! Girls don't talk about _that!"_ Bugle pressed his beatnik hat hard against his head as if to try and push the image from his mind.

"Make them kiss! Make them kiss!" Burger said, bouncing up and down excitedly. Baggy nodded rowdily in agreement.

"It's not a videogame, you idiot!" Megabyte snapped. He himself was licking his lips, eyes bugging out underneath his spectacles.

On the feed, the girls seemed to be listening to some sort of music. Boom-Boom was shaking her ass to an unheard beat as Bouffant swayed her hips back and forth. Babydoll lay on her stomach, legs kicking up in the air.

Then Babydoll sat up and pulled at her nightgown, as if she was about to slip it off-and the boys held their breath-

"Oh wow. Oh wow," Baggy was panting.

And Babydoll seemed to make direct eye contact with the camera. Her expression changed to a look of confusion, then anger; she got up and approached it, saying something the boys couldn't hear… the other girls looked up and looked shocked as well, and then…the screen went black.

"Oh shit. Oh shit," said Baggy.

Megabyte now looked nervous, clicking furiously and pressing the power button on his laptop. "They must have found the camera."

The brothers freaked out. Springing away from the computer, they leapt onto the bed or into their sleeping bags as if to pretend they hadn't been doing anything wrong. And it was just as well- because one moment later, there was a heavy knocking at their door and a shriek. "OPEN THIS DOOR!"

"Don't open it!" hissed Burger. Big Time, the only one still standing, rolled his eyes and walked up to the door. 'Bout time his brothers got what was comin' to them.

He was almost trampled by the girls as they broke the door down.

"What is this?" screamed Babydoll, her voice reaching such a pitch it made them all cover their ears. "Girls, these freaks have been-!"

"Are we havin' a slumber party?" Boom-Boom asked innocently. She plopped down in the middle of the sofa where Babyface and Baggy were crashed, and the two shared an excited glance, wriggling closer to her.

"Perfect. I was getting pretty bored of this place," Bouffant sashayed into the room and winked at the boys.

"No, no, listen! These guys are scumbags!" Babydoll insisted, pointing insistently at Megabyte and his computer as he madly rushed to shove it under his own sleeper set.

"Psh. You say that like it's a bad thing," Bouffant clicked her tongue. "Why don't we play spin the bottle?"

Most of the boys perked up and looked thrilled by the suggestion. Babydoll ripped out her hair with exasperation, screaming internally.

"Uh, there's a 3:8 boy-girl ratio here," Megabyte rose his hands up defiantly. "Odds are, us guys would be kissing each other."

"Ew, I don't want to kiss any of yous," Bankjob said from his spot on the floor.

"Wouldn't be the first time," Bugle commented softly at his side, and snickered as Bankjob sent him a death glare.

"Nah, not that," Boom-Boom said, putting a finger to her mouth. "I'd rather play Truth or Dare."

The boys looked even more excited at this, and they and the two girls eased into a tight circle in the middle of the room. Even Megabyte was eager to get in on the action, and he joined the others on the floor.

"Unbelievable." Big Time rubbed his temples.

"So, uh-" Bugle cleared his throat and lowered his shades from his eyes, revealing the red flush spreading across his cheeks. "We, um…."

"Oh, you boys are so adorable," Bouffant gushed. She tickled Bankjob under his chin, which sent him into a state of bliss with one of his legs twitching slightly. "If we had something to drink, this'd be really fun."

"I gots diet grapey soda!" Burger clapped his hand joyfully, glad he could finally be of help. "I keep cans of it under my bed!-"

"She means hard drinks, you nincompoop!" Big Time said. To be honest, he could do with one for himself right now.

"Big Time, would you like to start us off?" Bouffant teased over her shoulder.

"I wouldn't."

Babydoll rolled her eyes. "'Course not. If you're a peeper, no doubt you're a coward too."

"Ok, ok, I'll go first!" Boom-Boom squealed. As she bounced, her breasts jiggled under their translucent pink cover, and the boys all ogled. Boom-Boom directed her gaze to Baggy, who was just across from her. "Alright. Truth or dare?" She giggled madly. All attention went to Baggy, who wore a baffled expression.

"Uh?"

"He picks truth," Bouncer answered for him, patting his simple brother on the back and causing him to hiccup. Boom-Boom giggled again.

"Alright…oh, I feel so naughty askin' this…do you…do you ever fart in your hand and smell it?"

There was a momentary silence. Then Bouffant groaned loudly. "Are you fuckin' kiddin' me, Boom?"

"All the time!" Baggy cried happily, giving her an idiotic grin. Boom-Boom laughed. "Uh, my turn now?" He scanned the group and then settled on his target.

"Er, Burger! Truth or Dare?"

Burger swallowed hard, looking at Bouffant next to him. "D-dare…?"

"I dare _you_ to go the next twenty minutes without anythin' else to eat!" He grinned ear to ear like he was some sort of genius.

Burger looked horrified. "What?! No one said my snackin' was at stake here! Forget it, I'm out of the game!" He stumbled to his feet and plopped onto the bed with a sulky expression.

"I don't think you guys know how to play this right," Bouffant said impatiently. "Look, I'll go next. Bouncer…" She looked across the circle with a smile, her hand still on Bankjob's shoulder. "Truth…or dare?" Her voice was silky and her lashes fluttered.

Bouncer gulped and held back the collar of his shirt, beaming shyly. "I'll take a truth."

"Only pussies take truths," sneered Bankjob.

"So, Bouncer…you ever _been_ with anyone?" Bouffant's tone lowered as she looked into his eyes. The Beagle Boy seemed to heat up like a teakettle.

"Well, yeah, I mean, of course-"

"Your hand doesn't count!" Bankjob barked. The two boys shot daggers at each other, while Bouffant just smirked and admired her acrylics.

"Ok, ok, I'll go!" Megabyte, who had been sitting in silence, finally piped up. "Hehe. Boom-Boom, which do you want?"

Boom-Boom popped out of her daydream. "Oh? Mmm. I want a dare."

Megabyte smiled. "At least _somebody_ is up for the game." He paused for a moment and then he chuckled. "Alright. I dare you to make out with your sister."

The boys made a hushed gasp. From his place on the wall, Big Time shook his head. "You're the worst out of all of 'em."

Boom-Boom looked towards Bouffant. "Alright. Not the weirdest thing I've been asked to do." She leaned across the circle and into her older sister. The two pressed together, an arm over the others' shoulder, tilting their heads just so slightly…

"Oh, man." Bugle, usually so laidback, fanned himself with his beatnik cap as he watched the scene unfold. Bankjob was wide-eyed with his hand on his mouth, and Bouncer felt little beads of sweat forming on his head as the girls began to make soft moaning noises…Even Burger from the bed was transfixed, and Megabyte had a devious grin as he took out a cellphone and snapped a picture.

Boom-Boom's soft body crushed against Bouffant as the two sisters locked lips, tongues flicking in and out and over each other's mouths. Boom-Boom gave a gentle "mmmm" as she pulled away, wiping her mouth from the excess lipgloss all over it. Bouffant sat back too, looking pleased to see all the boys watching her.

"Now me!" Boom-Boom giggled, bouncing back to her spot, seemingly unaware that around her, all the boys were pitching tents.

She looked to her side. "Babyface, would you-?"

At the mention of his name, Babyface looked up to her expectantly, blushing all over and quivering. Boom-Boom affectionately ruffled the hat on his head, making him go even redder.

"Um…I'll take a…a truth, I guess!"

Bankjob coughed into his hand. "Pussy!"

"Aw. Too bad," Boom-Boom looked disappointed. "Alright, lemme ask you: do you have a crush on anyone?"

Babyface was so deep red now he was practically purple and his little hands clenched into fists against his chest. "Oh. Uh….NO!" He shouted louder than intended. "G-girls are gross!"

The girls laughed as he settled back into his spot, embarrassed beyond belief.

As the game continued, both truths and dares began to get progressively dirtier, and the boys were getting all the more turned on.

"Flash us!" one of the boys dared Boom-Boom, and the voluptuous beagle lifted up her gown, revealing her enormous assets. The boys went crazy.

"Only a peek," she teased, pulling her clothes back over her.

Most of the boys were at this point getting off and doing all they could to hide their arousal. Megabyte, however, didn't seem so interested in keeping the secret.

"Yeah." He urged. "Come on, can't you take the whole thing off?" He didn't even try to cover up his boner.

Bankjob growled. "Cut it out, man."

Megabyte turned to him. "I'm just saying what everyone is thinking. I mean, you don't need a college education to realize _that."_ He looked back at the girls again. "Did I mention, by the way? I've got a college degree."

"Yeah, well I can benchpress 600 pounds," Bankjob retorted.

"I WEIGH 600 pounds!" Burger shouted.

"None of ya know how to skateboard like me, though!" Babyface sat up.

"What somebody _really_ likes is a dude who can make mixtapes," said Bugle.

"Feh! Call me when any of ya have entered the Duckburg Wrestling League and won!" Bouncer crossed his arms.

Baggy grinned, knowing he had to say something. "I like mac and cheese."

Bouffant and Boom-Boom looked at one another.

"And you still can't pull together to rob Scrooge's money bin?" Bouffant smirked and made a soft laugh.

Boom-Boom giggled. "Well…it's no wonder you're all virgins."

The boys all looked at the floor, shamefaced.

Big Time, who was doing his best to ignore the situation, couldn't help but laugh. Loudly. Everyone looked at him.

A grin crossed Bouffant's face. "Ok. I have one more round for the game." She looked towards Babydoll, who had been sitting to the side with a scowl and playing with a loose thread on her nightgown. "Doll. Truth…?"

"I ain't playin' your stupid game," Babydoll cut her off.

"Even if I dared ya…to do what ya do best on our host, here? 'Cause I do. I dare ya." Bouffant tipped her a wink. Babydoll blinked, confused for a second. Then she smiled herself and got to her feet.

The boys all watched in hushed silence, not sure what was happening. Babydoll smirked and walked up to Big Time, whom was glaring at her from the corner of his eye. "I don't know what yer doin', but don't."

Suddenly she sprung, shoving him hard and into a spindly chair behind him. His brothers gasped. From behind her, she pulled out a roll of duct tape and swiftly began ripping up pieces, binding him up while he was still dazed by the attack.

"Wh-What the hell are you doing?!" Big Time cried out after he came to his senses, his arms already useless under layer upon layer of tape binding.

"Shut up." Babydoll took one last sheet of tape and smacked it over her cousin's mouth. He looked up at her with nervous, almost fearful eyes, and his brothers looked on with bated breath.

"You really piss me off." She said. Then Babydoll sat forward on his lap, eyes narrowed and her smile dangerous.

Big Time tried to recoil, tried to yell in defiance, but he was completely restrained. His face turned a bright shade of red as he did his best to avoid his cousin's eyes, sweat starting to form on his face. Babydoll began to trail her fingers over her own body through the material. Boom-Boom and Bouffant looked at each other and giggled as Babydoll continued to torment him.

Suddenly she grabbed him tight by the ear, and swiftly Babydoll drew out a penknife and held it up to face.

"You wish, cuz," she grinned, her grip still tight on him. Then she whacked him hard on the back of the head and he was out like a light, the chair falling onto the floor with a thud.

"I say we play something else, now," Bouffant snickered, tipping her sisters a glance. She smiled as all the boys locked their attention on her and Boom-Boom.

"What do you say, boys? Wanna try a new game?" Bouffant teased.

"Uff…" Big Time rose back to the waking world in a haze. And what he woke to was something he would never be able to unsee.

Bodies were sprawled over the floor; a tangle of arms and legs. Despite everyone still be being dressed, it was one of the lewdest things Big Time had ever had the misfortune of seeing.

Bouffant has her hands on her hips and waved the boys over with a flirty wink. "So which of you boys wants round one?"

Bankjob and Bouncer, the closest to her, looked at each other.

But Burger didn't need telling twice. He pushed past his brothers and laid one arm across her shoulders, the other arm lowering slowly between her thighs. She started breathing hard.

"Ahhh!" Bouffant made a shuddering sound.

Boom-Boom, looking across at her sister and getting turned on, fondled her chest through her nightgown and started swaying her hips in front of Baggy, Bugle, and Babyface.

"Come on, touch me. Touch me here!" She coaxed Babyface to place his hands on her waist and she gently began to grind into him, making his knees knock and voice quiver. She looked toward the other two.

"All over," she breathed, her lids low. Baggy knew this was an offer he couldn't refuse, and got in close, starting to touch her body while Babyface nervously kissed her all over her neck. Boom-Boom made a girlish squeal.

Megabyte, seemingly left out of the fun, stood not far behind, looking between the two girls, with a twisted grin on his face.

"What the hell!" Big Time yelled. But all that came out was "MrrmrrMRR!" because he was still gagged. It was horrible, but it was like a car crash- or more like one of Launchpad's plane crashes- and he couldn't look away.

"Unh- back so soon, honey?" Bouffant managed to moan out from being pleasured by the boys.

Babydoll was standing over Big Time, watching the scene with an irritated look on her face. "Really, you two. This has to stop happening with all the men you meet." Her leg was propped up on the top of the chair, giving Big Time a perfect view of up her gown.

"Oh, Babydoll, since you're here…" Megabyte looked eager to see a free girl to make a move on.

"Don't even dream of it, Megatool," Babydoll warned. "I prefer to go _solo._ "

Megabyte glowered, but then collected himself. "Well, fine then." He walked back to the bed and snatched up his computer. "I've got more than enough where this came from."

Bouffant made little gasping sounds, and Burger licked his fingers, thinking what a nice burger flavor this oughta make.

Boom-Boom now was lying on the floor under Baggy, head back and legs spread as Bugle pawed her all over from the side. Boom-Boom reached out her manicured hand towards Babyface, who kneeled beside them, and as he timidly came close, she fished inside his pants and pulled him out with a squeeze. Babyface shuddered; with her other hand, Boom-Boom slid her fingers down Bugle's abdomen and then gripped him hard. Bugle winced and shut his eyes tight uncomfortably, his mind's eye lingering on someone else's firm, strong hands entirely.

At the same time, Bouncer and Bankjob had shoved Burger out of their way as Bouffant and stood on either side of her, on her hands and knees. The two boys didn't hesitate this time, and she let out a muffled yelp.

As the group grew closer and closer, their sounds became more and more frantic.

Boom-Boom's eyes rolled back, and Baggy let out a little gasp. Boom-Boom tightened her grip on Bugle and Babyface; mere moments later Babyface knew he was going to pop. Boom-Boom took him out, lipstick all over and her chin dripping. At that same moment Bugle squeezed his eyes shut and whispered a shuddering, "Ba-Bank...!"

"Mmm…" Boom-Boom smiled, looking at the three boys with content.

Bouffant, meanwhile, tried to yell in pain, but she choked hard on him and was overwhelmed as Bouncer finished in her mouth. The big beagle put his hand to her face and gave her a smile. Bankjob, at the same time, was close himself- and gripped her even tighter towards him, feeling the surge of satisfaction flow through him.

The brothers and cousins were sprawled all over the room, heaving and panting.

"Ahhh!" Bouffant's tongue lolled out of her mouth. "Oh, that'll hurt tomorrow."

"I-I'm sorry," Bankjob started, but Bouffant sat up and pinched Bankjob's butt playfully.

"No. I like that!" Bouffant stood up and kissed him quickly and forcefully.

Bouncer and Bugle's eyes narrowed with jealousy, but this was short-lived- one moment after Bouffant shoved her tongue down Bankjob's throat, she threw her arms around Bouncer and kissed him in the same way. He grabbed hold of her and made her squeal into him.

Boom-Boom, legs spread and lying on the floor, smiled and took that cue to crawl onto Baggy and lock lips with him, making the Beagle Boy chuckle sheepishly as she pulled him close. She turned to Babyface, pulling his beanie down over his eyes and kissing him roughly, finishing with a playful lick across the mouth.

Babydoll was now just giggling like mad. From the bed, Megabyte was filming everything. His camera caught Big Time's accusing glare and he smiled. "Say 'cheese'!" But Big Time's head was still spinning too fast to comply- and in moments, he faded out again.

Several hours later, Big Time finally came to, drooling a little as he lay under the chair. The room was dark, and more importantly, it was still. He could just make out the shadows of his brothers and cousins sprawled over each other- sleeping. Oh, thank God.

Big Time struggled in his bonds and finally wriggled free. Carefully, he made his way out of the room, avoiding stepping on any of the cuddling figures. He needed a shower- he had never been so unclean.

He stomped to the bathroom, wanting to erase the entire night from his mind. He quietly closed the door, turned on the shower, and tore his clothes off.

He stepped into the shower doing his best to push away any thoughts about that evening. But the harder he tried, the more he did. Without even thinking about it, Big Time began to touch himself and drift away…

"Are you always so quick?" came a snarky voice from nearby. Big Time almost leapt out of his skin, choking himself in the process.

"The hell you doin' in here?!" Big Time hissed.

"Well, you are quite tiny," Babydoll observed. "SmallTime, more like."

"Get outta here!" The short beagle snatched the shower curtain and tried to hide behind it, his face burning red.

Babydoll grinned. "I just had to take a leak. Relax, Big Time. We're cousins."

"That's what I'm afraid of."

Laughing hysterically, the curly haired beagle left the room, leaving her cousin shivering with rage and humiliation in her wake. This family visit could not end soon enough.

It must have been close to dawn, because as Big Time finished his shower and stepped out of the bathroom, he saw Ma heading down the hall with her I'm-Gonna-Wake-Up-Everyone-At-4-In-The-Morning-Smile.

"You're up early, Big Time," she said softly, putting her hand on the doorknob to their bedroom. "I'm just checkin' in on your brothers. Hope they didn't kill eachother."

Big Time's heart hammered. Oh, shit. She was going to see everything.

She opened the door and he swallowed hard behind her. There was a silence for a moment. And then…

"What is going on here?!" Ma shouted from the doorway.

Uh-oh.

All the Beagles, boys and girls alike, woke with a start. They were caught red-handed… doing the unspeakable!

"It's not- it's not-" stuttered Bankjob.

Then Ma smiled.

"Aw, carryin' on the family tradition, I see," Ma said, looking…pleased?

Everyone stared back at her, bewildered.

She turned to Big Time, expression darkening. "And you! Nobody likes a spoilsport. You too good to spend time with your family? I raised you better than that." Big Time gaped at her.

"B-but…But Ma!"

Ma shook her head and grumbled. Then she turned back to the scene inside. "Oh, and girls. I hope you're having a nice time. Let me know if you need anything." She smiled again. "I know my boys are a little… incompetent." With that, she shoved Big Time back, stumbling, into the room, and slammed the door closed with a bang.

"I don't believe this," Big Time muttered.

With that rude awakening, the beagles all looked at one another, remembering the crazy events of the previous night.

Bouncer and Bankjob were huddled on either side of Bouffant, their strong arms crisscrossed over her body, with her using Burger's belly as a pillow.

Babyface popped out from snuggling deep into Boom-Boom's chest, while Baggy stretched out over her legs, blinking wearily. Bugle was a little distance away, sitting up and shaking his head in self-revulsion. Babydoll just sat on the chair, not looking at anyone and her head in her hands.

None of them could meet each other's eyes, it was just too awkward and embarrassing.

After a few moments, Megabyte finally broke the silence. "Well. That was some fun last night, huh?" Everyone shot him a deadly glare that shut him up.

Noon arrived too soon.

The girls were getting together the last of their things in their bedroom, looking sullen.

"This reunion really wasn't such a bad idea after all," Bouffant said.

"I think it was too short, can't we stay longer?" Boom-Boom sighed.

"You know we can't," sighed Babydoll. Her sisters looked at her.

"You don't _want_ to stay, though," Boom-Boom pointed out.

"Well…it wasn't _completely_ terrible," Babydoll replied. "Look, we have our own seeds to sow, okay? We Beagle Babes handle things our own way."

Outside, slumped all over the living room furniture again, the boys were looking just as melancholy- apart from Big Time, who really couldn't care one way or another. Last night had been a nightmare he didn't wish to experience ever again. While his brothers lamented, he just watched the sports channel with indifference.

"I can't believe they were only staying one night," mumbled Baggy, his head on his arms. "'Dat's just cruel!"

"M-maybe they'll stay if we ask 'em to!" Burger piped up, looking hopeful. "We could pack a tasty lunch or somethin'…"

"Will you guys cut it out?" Big Time rolled his eyes for what seemed the thousandth time. He did have to agree with Megabyte on something- his brothers were obsessing over the first girls to give them a smidge of attention, falling head over heels. Regardless of who they were.

Babyface had his head in his hands, thinking hard. "Hey, ya guys think Boom-Boom would marry me?"

Big Time facepalmed. "Not until you can actually fit into a tuxedo, that's for sure."

"I think Bouffant really liked me," bragged Bankjob.

Bouncer just cracked his knuckles. " _Right."_

"I can't figure why anyone'd like any of ya," Big Time growled. So far, Megabyte had been silent, typing away at his computer as usual.

Ma appeared in the doorway. "Boys, come and say your farewells to your cousins."

The boys sprang to their feet and rushed up, all making last-second attempts to fix their appearance; dusting off their clothes and running their fingers through their hair.

The girls, dressed in their typical dresses and holding their bags, stood in the foyer. Boom-Boom and Bouffant giggled as the boys staggered into the room, puffing out their chests and trying to catch their eye.

Big Time plodded into the room last, hands in his pockets.

Boom-Boom, coating her lips with another layer of shining pink gloss, waved to the boys behind her.

"Aw, I'm gonna miss you all!" Her eyes began shining with tears. Babyface, unable to control himself, dashed up and hugged her tight, and she squeezed him hard into her chest until he could hardly breathe.

"Uh…Bon-Bon… wait!" Baggy staggered forward, looking dopey but trying his best to maintain a serious face. "I-I…I love you!"

"Aw. Thank you!" Boom-Boom said, beaming. Baggy stared at her.

"Deh….What?"

"Oh, let me carry your bags again," Bankjob offered to Bouffant, coming forward. Bouncer pushed him aside.

"I'll do it!"

"No, now," Bouffant said, smiling. "Actually… Burger, could you help me?" She winked and the tubby Beagle Boy grinned, happily obliging her request. Bankjob and Bouncer's jaws dropped as their brother waddled over and made a huge effort to pick up her suitcase. "So, you got a cellphone? Let me give you my number…" she went on.

Babydoll was the only one left. She turned to Big Time and smirked. "I guess you're not a _total_ fuckup. I mean, comparatively speaking."

"Can't say the same about you," shot back Big Time. Babydoll laughed and punched him hard in the arm, making him flinch. "See ya later, cousin. Guess we gotta go."

"Oh, you don't _have_ to go, girls," Ma said from the side. Everyone's eyes immediately went to her. "Why, you can stay the week if you like! It'd be nice to…."

"The week!" squealed Bouffant and Boom-Boom excitedly, clapping their hands. "Oh, yes!" Babydoll tried to hide her devious grin.

The boys exchanged glances and started cheering.

Except for Big Time.

"Wait, what?" Big Time cried.

This was going to be one hell of a week.


End file.
